Wednesday, April 11, 2007

So where do I start picking up the pieces of my life?

Why is it that everywhere I go I see people in love. I went for a walk around the lake yesterday to help me forgot about her but all I saw were couples holding hands and being lovey-dovey. And everytime I listen to the radio, I hear a love song. I was even considering calling in the Dalilah radio show to get some advice or at the very least request a song to mend my broken heart.

I havent had much sleep the past week. All I do is lay in bed thinking about how things used to be between us. I keep remembering how we first met and how good she made me feel about myself. I've always been a shy person all my life. She was the first girl who really took an interest in me, and for that I gave her everything I had. There was nothing I wouldnt do for her.

I'm always around people but I feel like I am the most lonely person in the room.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My Ex Left Me After I Gave Her All My Savings

My ex recently left me the day after I emptied out my entire savings account and 401K to help pay off her credit card debt. She had been begging me to do this for quite some time now, but I had been reluctant because I was afraid she was only using me. My fears became a reality last week when I came back home from work and saw that she had removed all her stuff from the home that we shared. I can’t believe she did this to me after all the things I did for her.

When we first met, I let her stay with me because her boyfriend at the time was abusing her…well at least that’s the story she gave me. In hindsight, I bet she did the same thing to him. I let her stay with me and didn’t even charge her rent. I was so good to her. I gave her my paychecks to go shopping, I paid for her auto insurance and I even gave her money to pay her student loans.

After all I did for her, she still left me without even saying good-bye. Even though she did this to me, I still love her. I wish I could have her back in my life. She was all that I cared about and I would have done anything for her. Is it just me or why do women have this power over men?

So where do I go from here now that I am broke? My options are to move in with my brother and his wife and kids. Maybe I can refinance my home? On the other hand, if I go live with my brother, I can save up some money and rebuild my life over again. But I really only want one thing in my life…

My Princess Rachel, if you are reading this blog, please understand that I am not mad at you. I love you and care for you still. Please come back to me!

Your humble Knight,

JJ